You be the Judge

Should Melbourne County Courts’ newest Judge, Judge “Millionaire” Myers, pick up her pearls, pack her Louis Viton purse and take her yacht for a cruise, leaving the tribulations of fairness and justice to those who can see past their own pursuits and ambitions?

You be the judge.

In a workplace injury matter, representing Workcover and the Victorian Government as the senior barrister, Myers denied a plaintiff costs of approximately $360,000 leaving him with around $100k and precluding him from Centrelink payments (disability) for over 4 years.

“Millionaire” Myers Judged, on behalf of the Victorian Workcover Authority and the Victorian Government, that justice was for the plaintiff to live the next 4 or so years below the state poverty line, on less than $25,000 per year, and without the opportunity to receive government assistance for the entire period.

The injured worker was injured in a job where he earned around $135,000 annually. “Millionaire” Myers judged that $25,000 per year, a $110,000 pay cut, and life below the poverty line would be an appropriate future, one the Victorian Government and the Victorian Workcover Authority would also find desirable for the injured worker.

Is this what Justice looks like for you?

Does your opinion change when you consider that, as a Senior Silk, “Millionaire” Myers would charge taxpayers around $10,000 per day for her services. That is around $50,000 per week or approximately $200,000 per month, equalling around $2,400,000 per year (assuming her 4 weeks holidays are unpaid). That is an estimated $2,375,000 more than she judged an injured worker to deserve.

Did “Millionaire” Myers consider that the injured worker was in possession of 2 tertiary qualifications and part way through a 3rd? Shudder at the thought that his qualifications were on par with those of the Millionaire.

She was counting something, potentially not tertiary qualifications.

Exploiting the vulnerabilities of the worker, “Millionaire” Myers went on to disclose his most private of secrets.  Armed with his private medical records, she discovered he was gang raped and contracted HIV. “Millionaire” Myers knew he had not told his mother or his housemate, she had a letter from his doctor saying as much.

Desperate for the win, “Millionaire” Myers made his confidential information public.  In Australia, HIV+ people are no longer required to disclose their status to their sexual partners due to the stigma and discrimination disclosing such information creates, however Myers did not hesitate.  “You have HIV don't you Mr...” hurled the Millionaire.   She didn't care that there is a law protecting HIV+ people from such disclosures in open court, she has since denied responsibility for enacting the anti-discrimination law found in Section 133(a) of the Public Health and Wellbeing Act.

I shudder at “Millionaire” Myers messing up again, calling an indigenous Australian the "N" word. We must be optimistic that “Millionaire” Myers knows that discrimination is against the law in Australia. Hopefully this article inspires her to read up on HIV discrimination, unless some minority groups are too small for her to consider speaking to in a manner, she demands to be spoken to herself.

The Plaintiff claims that he was shamed, embarrassed, and humiliated into the settlement. This is against the law in Australia.  Surely, we can trust that, in her final case as a Barrister, about to take a position on the bench, Judge “Millionaire” Myers would ensure unfair settlements are not forced on injured workers.

Upon reading this piece, “Millionaire” Myers will likely call her Buttler to check the time on her Rolex, pull out her Watermark Pen from the study draw at the holiday house in Rye, and issue proceedings against the plaintiff for disclosing the settlement numbers, even though we technically have not disclosed such details.  We did not even tell Australia that she defied the Legal Profession Uniform Conduct (Barristers) Rules 2015 and had the audacity to speak to him in a tone so reprehensible that it resulted in the jury being dismissed.  We kept this to ourselves because it happened after her disclosure, and after the plaintiff scrambled to close the court in fear of what the rogue Millionaire was going to say next.

"Millionaire” Myers need not be concerned that the plaintiff may be nursing a miniscule $10,000 to see him through to December.  That is all in a day's work. I suppose she could file with a Cherry in hand on the chopper ride to Court, ahead of her early, 10 am start. 

This story, the settlement numbers, and the happenings once the court was closed are in the public interest because this judge is not.

Disclaimer

*"Millionaire" Myers is likely not the nick name of the subject of the story. This is a satirical article and humor has been used to distract from the discrimination and wrongdoing of County Courts newest Judge. For example, Myers may not own a Rolex, she may not have a butler or a house in Rye and she may not catch a chopper to work for her 10am kick off.